Thanks to the brilliant husband (mine, not yours), I am reposting something that I did not mean to delete.

Legacy (as written on Thursday, January 25th)
John, Cosi and I have spent the last two days in a small town in northcentral Wisconsin. Our time there was really sad, but good. At least that’s what our friend M* kept telling us as he would cry and lean in for a big hug. M*’s dad had been sick with cancer for a while now and finally gave up the glorious fight on Saturday night. John talked to M* the morning after his dad passed away and after he hung up the phone, he described our dear friend as congested, but relieved. We headed up north on Tuesday morning and headed back home not even 36 hours later. Our time there was short, but I am so glad we got to be there. You see, I learned something pretty significant while I was there.
Sometimes, I’ll sneak into Cosi’s room after she’s fallen asleep. I’ll stand over her crib and pull down the covers just a little bit so I can see her sweet smiling face. And most of the time, I’ll stand there wishing I knew what to pray. I want to be a mother who prays for her daughter. But as a person who finds it hard to pray about anything at all, I’ve had a difficult time.
As I lay in bed last night, going over all the emotions in my head and heart and finding it hard to fall asleep, I finally realized what it is I want for my daughter. I ran into her room and stood over her crib and whispered these words
“Please help me mold my baby girl into a woman, who when we die, has friends that will travel across the world (or even 6 hours) to honor the man and woman who helped to make her the way that she is”.
But as I read over that prayer, it almost sounds conceited. And I guess this prayer is more a prayer for me than it is for her. I want to be the type of mother and I hope that John is the type of father that does make Cosi a good friend to others. I want her to smell of honesty. I want her to not be afraid to crumble like a little baby into her friends arms when she is hurting, but also someone who will stand strong when someone needs to lean.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope and pray that I can be like M*’s dad and that when I die, you would only have to look at my kids to know what kind of person I truly was.

James did this first.

Before Cosi:

2 day old Cosi:

1 month old Cosi:

2 month old Cosi:

3 month old Cosi:

4 month old Cosi:

5 month old Cosi:

6 month old Cosi:

7 month old Cosi:

Almost eight months!:

I can’t believe how fast this little girl is growing up. Last night, she finally achieved something she had been working extra hard at all day long. We were at our weekly dinner and she was on her tummy and she just pulled herself up into a sitting position. Of course, this was only minutes after Asher had sat up from lying on his back and she thought, “oh no, i’m not letting that boy show me up!”

You know how to hold my hand,
You know how to make me mad,
You know everything about me.
I remember, when we first got together that I liked to use the word wonderful a lot. Because that’s what I was – full of wonder. But not like that starry-eyed wonder; it was more like me wondering if you liked french toast better than pancakes. Now I don’t wonder so much. I know.
We’ve been together longer,
Than most of our friends have,
It’s true. Before we moved up north, we were the old married couple. Even here, only a few surpass us in years.
But they don’t know that it’s not always a party.
While it’s true that they do find it odd to hear that we have fights, they believe us when we re-inact them.

But you just put your arms around me,
And I let go of all my anxiety,
You know youre my lazy boy recliner.
From the very beginning, I’ve commented on how wonderfully cuddlesome we are. When I’m sad, I want your arms around me. When I’m scared, I reach for you. When I’m happy, I wrap my arms under yours and we jump up and down. When I’m mad, you reach for me, and most of the time, I can’t help but take hold.

I really don’t mind being this comfortable.

One more to ten, baby.

1. Get to know my neighbors better. Not just the Reddeemer-ites, but people like the renters across the street.
2. Take more girl time. Go across the street for a manicure. Invite the girls out to a movie once a month, that sort of thing.
3. Visit the Y at least once a week. This will be easy for February since Cosi and I start her first swim lessons that month (!!)

Last year was a big one, with Cosi coming into view and all. Here’s to the next one, whatever it may bring us.