I’m tired. Almost all the time.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “of course, you’re tired. You’re Tonya Beeler. You live for sleep.”
And this is true. I do love to sleep. Give me an option of doing something or taking a nap and unless I feel completely overwhelmed or deadline-laden, I will undoubtedly choose the nap. I like to take naps even when I’m not tired. Naps are fun. Shutting yourself down and thinking of nothing but the rhythm of a discovered noise is fun.
But what I don’t enjoy is being so tired that I demand sleep. Sleep should be a happy event. Sleep should never be something that you have to do, but something you want to do in place of other things.
Not so, these past few weeks. And I know, I know. It’ll only get worse, right?

I remember as a child falling asleep to the sounds of the television in the background. It was a comfort. I knew everything was ok if my mom was resting in front of the television waiting for me to drift off to sleep. It actually made it easier to drift.
Still today, if I’m taking a nap on the couch, I’ll find a random channel and keep it there as I turn my back and close my eyes. I love falling asleep to the television. Remember when you would wake up and all you would see is this? I remember falling asleep on the floor in front of the tv at my cousin’s house. We would fall asleep to Nick at Nite and wake up hearing the long beep of the screen telling us the scheduled programming had ended for the night.
Last night, I really wanted to go to bed around 9 pm. Instead, I found myself on the couch as the CPH started watching a movie. I fell asleep and drifted in and out hearing some parts of the movie. It was a comfort. So much so that I asked him to transfer his movie watching up to the bedroom, so i could fall asleep properly but still be led into sleep by the sound of the movie. So nice.

I got a call from my moms this weekend. They had just picked up a crib for me. And it’s beautiful. Really. See?

It’s a convertible of sorts. It will transform into a toddler bed and then, eventually into a kid sized bed.
Now I’m trying to figure out the other necessities that should be included in a baby room. There’s a changing table/dresser that goes with the crib but it’s expensive and I’m not too sure it can grow with the child.
Another option I’m considering is buying a second-hand dresser and painting it to match the colors in the curtains (I’m thinking yellow and green).
One other thing I’ve thought of is buying an old bookshelf attaching a hanging bar to one of the shelves (there’s no closet in the, soon to be, baby room) and buying some baskets to store clothes in and placing them on the shelves.
What I wonder from any moms that read this….or from people who aren’t moms but think they know what a baby might need.
Can I get away without a changing table? Couldn’t I just use the baby bed to change diapers in?

The CPH and I are doing quite a bit of traveling lately.
Last weekend we used our Wendy’s tickets and headed out east to see R* and Nathalie. I love seeing them but I hate the leaving part. Sometimes I wish I could just pack them up in a little suitcase and take them with me where ever we go.
There was a huge snowfall on Saturday night (huge snowflakes that made every DC resident recoil inside to their warm row houses and made the parking and waiting times bearable for us!) which made the trip even better, I think.
Speaking of better things, when we walked away from the Coeller’s, the first thing I said to the CPH was that R* really needs to work on his hugs. I love the boy, but his hugs – they are horrible. Ask anyone, I’m a big hugger. I’ve even been described as an amazing hugger. And R* – his hugs just don’t cut it. They’re so hollow. And quick. Sometimes, I seriously doubt my aptitude in hugging when I get hugged by this man.
The CPH says he can’t be blamed. He grew up in a fairly conservative christian home and has not been hugged by a compulsive hugger for 8+ years.
I’m thinking of staging an intervention.
Speaking of interventions, we are going to do something about this cupcake obsession this weekend. We’re going to Tennessee and let me just say that there has been talk of cupcakes…many cupcakes.

This is D*. This is D* eating the best chip on the planet. Today is his birthday. He and his lovely wife, Amy, are in Thailand for a few months while he does some student teaching.

Everyone say it with me. Happy birthday, D*!.

About a month before I found out I was pregnant, I went to the dentist for a check-up. They told me, just like my dentist in Chattanooga had told me, that I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed. I didn’t get them cut out in Chattanooga because at the time that my dentist told me, I was in the process of looking for a new job and I didn’t want to be caught slobbering my way through a phone interview. The reason I didn’t go ahead and get them taken care of once I found out this time….well…I was lazy. And now one of them has broken through the gum. Where before you could just see a sliver of whiteness, you can make out an actual tooth. An actual tooth that is supposed to hurt like hell if it starts pushing on my other teeth.
Really I am the worst procastinator. Did I not learn anything from Frog and Toad?
Luckily, we’re going to see R* and Nathalie today and I just heard she has a magic bullet. So if it comes to me having to eat all soft foods, I’ll be in the perfect hands.

Heater sent me an old picture yesterday. I remember this night like it was yesterday. Our friend Troy had a sister who had a beautiful house not that far from our school and a whole slew of us had been invited to spend the night there. That was my second semester at EKU. I was living on a sorority floor with a friend I had met my first semester. She had joined the sorority and the sorority had agreed to let me live on their floor (even though I wasn’t a sister). Half way through the semester, my friend met a guy, decided to marry him and dropped out of school altogether.
When the CPH saw this picture of me, he said, (something to the effect of) “You look pretty in that picture”.
Which reminded me of a statement (pretty much the same one the CPH said to me) I said to my mom about a picture I have of me, her, my dad and my brother.
My how things have changed.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a pity party where I whine about how much prettier I used to be compared to how not pretty I am today. I actually think I am a fairly attractive person. But my look. Really. It’s completely changed.
I’m no longer the cute, hair must be aligned and make up must be perfect kind of person. I’m no longer the kill myself to make it the bathroom to put my contacts in before anyone sees me in my glasses kind of person.
And I really don’t think I’m any better of a person for no longer being that way. I’m just different. That’s all.

We made cupcakes last night. Nothing special, really. Just strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese icing. We’ve been wanting cupcakes for a while now. A few too many gmail threads, here lately, have turned horribly in the wrong direction and then someone always seems to bring it around to cupcakes.
Yum.
A guy who is married to a friend of friend recently suggested to the fans of Project Runway (Hey! That’s me! – No really. I just got made fun of last week for quoting Michael Kors), that they catch the british version of the show, Project Catwalk.
So, the CPH did his magic and has been downloading the show for me. It’s not quite as good. But, to be honest, I find Elizabeth Hurley much hotter than Heidi Klum. So what’s lacking in drama and good fashion is made up for by Elizabeth Hurley.
Speaking of Project Runway, it’s really getting down to the wire.
Speaking of The Wire, if you haven’t caught on to this yet, you really should. It’s quite the amazing show.
Speaking of amazing, we’re heading down to Bloomington this weekend to see one of our favorites.
Cupcakes, Hot British women, a police drama that has finally gotten my husband’s attention, and a man who can whistle and play with his hair for me anytime. Life is good.