Heater just tagged me. Which totally reminds me of Assasins, the game. The game in which I kicked everyone’s ass (until I bored of it) and totally turned on my love interest in order to be liked by other people.
Ok, so according to the rules I have to pick five of the following things and tell you (my readers) what I would do if I, in fact, could be those things listed. After I have done that, I will tag some of my readers to post their thoughts on their own blogs.
The choices are:
scientist, farmer, musician, doctor, painter, gardener, missionary, chef, architect, linguist, psychologist, librarian, athlete, lawyer, inn-keeper, professor, writer, llama-rider, bonnie pirate, astronaut, world-famous blogger, justice in any one court of the world, married to any current famous political figure.

If I could be a farmer, I would invite all my friends to come live on my farm and I would keep them forever there with me because really….what do you need other than food and friends?

If I could be a musician, I would never (NEVER) play encores. And people would still love me and pay lots of money to come see me because they respect me and they would expect me, as a respectful artist, not to play those games.

If I could be a missionary, I would stay right here. I don’t think you have to go out of the country to be God’s hands and to do good things.

If I could be a world-famous blogger, I would let people, when I visit their town, buy me drinks and get me drunk just so I could write fun things about them and link to their blogs to make them world-famous too.

If I could be a librarian, I would have my dream job. At least my dream job as it stands right now. That could change any second. Wait, it just did. And now it’s back….

And now – NJC, sister-in-law, and Amy – Tag you’re it. Now go do this on your blog. Because I said so!

P.S. Some of you that I would like to hear responses on this from refuse to have blogs. so please feel free to respond here. And we’ll have our own little party.

The summer after my CPH and I married, we went home and youth pastored at the church that we were married in. I had a love/hate relationship with that summer. It was a rough summer. I think we both realized that summer that the ministry was not a place that we wanted to stay forever. On the other hand, I loved being there. I loved laughing and joking around with the boy crazy junior high girls. I loved having the kids over to our apartment and just hanging out.
At the end of the summer, we were given a choice. Our pastor invited us to stick around and continue being youth pastors. We, of course, had not finished our schooling yet and decided we needed to go back to Tennessee.
Once our fate was decided, my emotions shut off. I was depressed. I was quiet.
Near the end of my stay in Tennessee, I think I was the same way. I just found it so hard to continue in relationships, knowing that they were going to drastically change in a few short months.
Last night, we had dinner with some friends and I realized that I was sad and quiet. And even though I have no idea what is going to happen to us in a few months, I can’t help but wonder if my subconscious has already decided to shut my emotions down.

Sometime near the end of my high school years, I was heading back from my boyfriend’s house after a snowstorm that had left the roads quite slick. Instead of stopping at a stop sign, I slid into an embankment and had to walk back to J*’s house and then call my dad to come get me. As we were following the tow truck with my car back to my house, I remember I was humming a song. I also remember my dad getting mad at me. He couldn’t understand why I would be happy and singing after I had done something that should cause me to be sad, somber and silent. I think this was the first time that I actually realized that music was one of my most powerful defense mechanisms. Many children, when told something they don’t want to hear, will cover their ears and scream. I simply learned to ignore what the other person was saying and filled my head with songs instead.
I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been making up my own tunes. I’ll find myself singing as I get ready in the morning. I’ll find myself whistling (horribly, but still whistling) as I walk to work.
And I wonder if I’ve created these songs to fill my heart so I can hear that instead of it breaking.

Looks like this whole miscarriage thing is over. I haven’t had to wear a pad for about 6 days now. Which is so nice considering I had been wearing one for nearly a whole month….And considering I haven’t worn a pad since my junior high years.
So yeah, it’s over and done with. And now, we just have to wait for a normal period and then we can start trying all over again.
And then I’m sure I’ll be a whole other bundle of nerves.

J* was in town from Tennesse this weekend. When I lived in Tennessee, we would always try to throw together poker nights, but I think we only succeeded twice. To commemorate her visit, we decided to continue the short lived tradition and invited my Indiana friends over for a girls poker night. We had a great night. We did a bit more drinking and smoking and talking than playing cards. I was so lazy on Sunday trying to catch up after staying up to 6 in the morning debating using hyphenation in identifying themselves (i.e. should people who are legally americans as citizens but who have have asian heritage be allowed to say they are asian-american?).
Fun times.
Pictures coming soon, I hope.

Happy Birthday J* (forefront)!
I get to see his mommy tomorrow (yay!), but J* won’t be coming. But he’s getting to spend a few days with his grandparents and then he’s getting to move into a new house!
I hope he gets lots of fun toys and a yummy birthday cake!

Last night, I should have gone to this. It was planned a long time ago and even up to last night, I was still planning on going. But plans change and friends are fickle, so I didn’t go.
And even though I was not there to see it, my friends still kicked ass and are moving on to the second round. Please don’t be mad at me. I promise (pinky-swear!) that I’ll be at the next round.

John in the late, late evening and me in my new (kexp’s) john in the morning tee.
It was a very enjoyable night. One of those nights where it’s really, really late and the band doesn’t sound much at all like you hear on your record at home, but still you’re glad you’re there if only because of the people you are there with.
See pics here.

When people like N* mention my stick-to-it-ness about updating this blog, I start to feel guilty. Because I know that I don’t update quite as much as I had thought that I would and as much as I’d like to, in the future, look back and be glad about.
Wanna know something else that makes me feel guilty? Last night, on the ride home from an enjoyable but tiring night in Bloomington, CPH was talking to our friends about how much he has changed from high school. He said that both of us had done some changing. And I think he was just saying that to help the story progress, but I sat there and couldn’t think of any major ways that I have changed.
And I think it’d be very presumptuous to assume that I didn’t need any changing. And I don’t want to be presumptuous, I just can’t think of any.
Help?

Friday night, HHC put on a concert in a one of the galleries at the Harrison Center for the Arts. It was a wonderful show and he was well-received. I like it when my friends like my other friends.
See pics here.

R* and the future Mrs. R*
Friday, near the end of the workday, there was a delivery for my friend J* that consisted of roses, a card, and a pair of binoculars. We proceeded down to the window that overlooks the circle and watched as J* read a huge posterboard proposal.
Luckily, I knew of this before it occured and was able to capture it on film. See it happen here.
Earlier this week, CPH told me he was sorry I didn’t get a proposal like the one that R* was planning for J*. See, CPH and I just decided, while on the phone one night that it was the right time to get married. In fact, I didn’t even get an engagement ring until we were both home for summer break.
But, honestly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. There’s something so comforting about deciding to marry your best friend, really.

Several friends and I have been continuing a conversation through gmail listing our top tens. Top ten books. Top ten concerts. Top ten cigarettes. Top ten things sitting on your desk.

So, I submit – Top Ten foods I refused to eat as a child, but find myself eating now:
Cooked carrots
Green Beans
Cheese
Beans
Cooked Broccoli
Cooked Cauliflower
Wheat Bread
Coleslaw
Potato Salad
Chinese Food

Honorable Mention – Pineapple. Although, I still can’t eat it on a pizza.

Yesterday was a shitty day. I’ve had depressing days before. I’ve had days where I couldn’t concentrate and I’m in a bitchy mood.
Yesterday was different. Yesterday, my eyes filled with tears at least once an hour. In between the time that I got home and the time I left for my haircut, I just sat on the steps, watching CPH grade his papers. I didn’t really want to eat much at all and I much preferred doing my work than having to find other things to distract me.
I can’t even explain why yesterday was different than any other day. I have no idea why my brain decided that I was supposed to be sad on that day.
CPH told me this morning as I left for work that he was sorry that I was sad. And that it’s okay to be sad. Just not all the time.
He’s such a smarty.

Plans are on for this year’s garden. Tilling should happen at the beginning of next week. Even though, near the end of the season, we were getting tired of driving the 15 miles to the garden, some of my best memories of last summer were at the garden.
This year, we won’t even have to travel one mile. The garden will be in some friends’ back yard. And we can even walk there!
mmmmmm….

There are many types of friends. Some friends, when they come for a visit, you feel like you have to have every moment they are there planned with fun activities. Then there are some who like to just sit around and talk. Then there are some who like to make a surprise visit and show up at your doorstep un-invited. This last type is by far my favorite kind of friends. These are the type of friends who love you so much that they don’t mind finding your house in shambles and then offering to help clean the week old dishes. And these are the type of friends that you feel comfortable enough around to let them help.
Friday, after coming home from this month’s gallery opening, I read an email from my moms that was eerily short, just asking if I was home. I immediately called them at home to make sure that everything was okay and was surprised when my aunt told me that they weren’t home and that they were on the way to see me. I called my mom’s cellphone to confirm and they were, in fact, on their way. This act was completely out of character for my mom and I was a bit bewildered.
But it turned out to be a really great weekend. We already had a full weekend planned and my moms just seemed to fit right in.
We picked M* up around 8:30 for a day at the park. It was so much fun just following him where he wanted to go. My moms met us there around 10 and they reminded me, even more than i already knew, how blessed my children will be to have them for grandmothers.
We all dropped M* off around noon and then headed back to our place. They left for a nap back at their hotel room (I think because they could tell that we wanted a nap, aren’t they great??) and came back around 5pm.
Saturday night we went back to M*’s house so his parents could go out for a date while he slept. The girls played cards, a long-held tradition for our family, while CPH graded tests.
On Sunday, they met us back at our house after church and had sandwiches and then headed off so that I could meet my co-workers at an annual walk (for charity or for a good excuse to walk with my friends J* and R*).
So it was a good weekend. A really good weekend. One of my favorites.

Last night, CPH and I headed up north to watch a free screening of Millions. In the movie, there are two school aged boys who move, with their dad, to a new town. Shenanigans ensue, but I don’t want to spoil the movie.
The boys’ mother has recently passed away and the oldest of the two has found out that when he said to someone that his mom has died, he would get something for free.
A few years back, the SMWB was coming to live with us for the summer. On the day of his arrival, i was on my way home from a grocery visit and this huge SUV rammed into the back of our mini-van.
That night, when people heard about my accident, I got many backrubs.
Just tell them about your accident, and they’ll offer you a backrub.
So now, with all this miscarriage stuff happening, people are being so good to us and offering us free meals and are hanging out with us and I’m trying my hardest not to take their love for granted.
Because no matter how easy it is to use this sad thing as a way to ensure we have close friends that do nice things for us, that just would not be right.

P* called while we were “babysitting” M* last night. I immediately invited her over. She hestitated. Literally. I thought our phone connection had been lost, but it was just her contemplating. She felt bad because she doesn’t know M*’s parents all that well. I tried to persuade her asking her to remember the high school years when she would be babysitting and she invited a few friends over while the parents were gone. Her response?

I never did that. The bad kids did that.

Yes, she did end up coming over. After she was there for about an hour, she called up a friend and invited him over as well.

It was a good night.

There is talk, here in Indiana, of abolishing our silly little refusal to acknowledge daylight saving time.
While I grew up on the border of Kentucky and Indiana, I was a small town girl not knowing what laid beyond southern Indiana. So when the in-laws first moved to central Indiana and talked of this bizarro world where they were on central time during spring and summer and on eastern time during the fall and winter, I was bewildered – much like most of our friends and family are when we try to explain this proposterous thing.
I’m excited that our acknowledgement of daylight saving time seems closer to reality. Just for reference, the following are the reasons I wish we would acknowledge it sooner than later (or never – I’m actually even okay with later). If we were on eastern time and changed times with every other eastern time abiding state,
1) I would not have to sweat everytime I didn’t look at the time and called my father after 8pm because I may have caught him in bed after he has retired for the night.
2) I wouldn’t have to leave work an hour early on the weekends that I go home to Kentucky or suffer the consequences of everyone going home before I got there.
3) I wouldn’t have to be at my desk before 8 am to hear Damien Jurado singing the opening credits for John in the Morning.
When will the state legislature realize that they are hurting me by not passing this bill?

Just in case you’re wondering. We are now on central time. Stupid Hoosiers.

You know you have to buy a cd when you’re listening to a song and you’ve been keeping the beat of the song with your bottle of white-out.
If you see her, please buy her album so she will get lots of money.

This morning, before heading out to Traders Point Creamery, CPH was making a mixed cd for the trip. I was standing over his shoulder and noticed that he had downloaded Ben Fold’s last album.
Then the conversation went something like this:
Me: Um, don’t we already have that album?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Why did you download it then?
Him: I was too lazy to walk over to the dresser and get it out.
(He points to the dresser that is – hold on, counting it now- approximately seven CPH steps away from his chair)
Me: Oh my God.
Him: AND….OUR CD IS SCRATCHED!
Me: I’m totally writing about this.
Him: TELL THEM HOW SCRATCHED OUR CD IS!
Me: Sure, you betcha.

I just looked in the dresser drawer and it’s true. Our copy of Rockin’ the Suburbs is pretty scratched up. I think he was more put off by looking through the lines and lines of disorganized cd’s than by putting a scratched cd in his cd drive. I almost gave up too.

Last night, CPH and I went over to visit our little friend, M*.

While, M* and his parents had moved into their house a few weeks ago, he hadn’t been able to go upstairs because there was no flooring. Carpet was put in yesterday and M* was allowed to explore. He kept running from room to room and rolling around on the carpet and laughing.
I made the comment that he reminded me of a ferret because when they discover new places they won’t stop moving until they feel like they’ve explored every inch.
And poop in every corner.
Which M* did not do.
I promise.