listed below is the new music I will be checking out this weekend.

you can look too, if you wanna.

The Postal Service
Washington Social Club
Verona Downs
Surefire
Duvall
The Delays
Gardener
Tracy Spuehler
Chestnut Station
Carolyn Mark

CPH has been doing some multi-media work his some of his professors. Last night, he showed me this. Now, while I know that the reason CPH pulled this image up was not to remind me of a book that I only half-way enjoyed while I was reading it, but now can’t get my mind off, but…..

can’t you just see Peter Chance sitting in that car just days before his life changed forever?

(or, something to the effect of)
me: so you think he’s going to win?
CPH: nah
me: really?
CPH: I hope not.
me: you hope not?
CPH: yeah, for the sake of Mars.

i don’t have a definitive list, but…

he would, so, totally be on there.

just had the strangest “it’s been a long day, let’s all go down to Durty Nelly’s after work” craving.

and that made me sad.

CPH: What are you drawing?
Me: A girten.
CPH: What’a a girten?
ME: It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a girl and a kitten mixed…bred for it’s skills in sadness and self-sufficiency.

Feeling real bad for our friends, B* and L*. They have a (less than) 1 year old who had to go the hospital Friday night . Turns out she may some kind of virus which is causing her to wheeze like a 90 year old man who has smoked for nearly his whole life.
L* has to give little N* a breathing treatment every 6 hours which has made for a not so happy (and not so rested) G* household. Yesterday, at church, you could see the tiredness floating off of them like the stench of someone who hasn’t been able to shower for weeks.
I held N* for a little over half of the service and have since realized that I will have KICK ASS arm muscles once I do have children of my own.
Wonder if they’d let me borrow her for 30 minutes, three times a week?

I will join with you, Dooce.

You are a wonderfully normal human being and anyone who thinks otherwise is the dumbass!

i have a few friends who can not (for one reason or another) enjoy naps. This makes me very sad for my little friends. CPH and I just cuddled up close on our couch and had a wonderful 2 hour + nap. He’s actually still there.
Well, it’s time that I admit something to all of you. I absolutely love living downtown. There, I said it.
We walked to our local library today to get a library card. Because in college, we could just use our school card for the public library, I haven’t pocketed a bona fide library card since I was a child. As she handed me the card, she went down the list of the amounts of book, videos, dvds and (so much more than i could understand, as she was talking at break-neck speed) that I could borrow at one time. I have since learned that I can, at least, borrow one book, as I did later that afternoon.
After we got the card, we left to go the main library. On the way there (we were walking, as downtown livers do), CPH was explaining how the system of our libary works. He says it has won awards for its brilliance.
We arrive at the interim libary (they’re building a futuristic one with futuristic quiet zones in which you can sit on futuristic chairs) about 30 minutes later. We walk in and I am immediately overwhelmed. I walk over to the big sign that says NEW FICTION and start perusing the aisles. CPH comes over and says he’ll be in the 741’s. He’s been wanting to check our their massive rows of Comic Books for some time now. I tell him to go, but to stay there until I find him because I am certain that I could lose my husband in this humongous cave of books and never see him again. After finding a new book to try (after the River Why, because I promised B*, just last night that I would stick with it), I go the computer to see if this library houses the books of one of my favorite authors. But, I give up because I can’t figure out where the fiction is in this place. I go up to the 741’s to find CPH (I’m surprised I can even find him). He looks happy as rain, looking at all the graphic novels, so I leave him to sit downstairs with the book I have settled on because I could find nothing else but the new fiction area. Maybe next time we go, I’ll have the nerve to ask a librarian where the fiction section is.
On another note, as we were walking to the library, we walked past the Mass Ave Knitting Shop, which must have moved from it’s original location but didn’t want to change its name (we walked past it on Virginia Ave). My sweety of a husband suggested we go in to get some literature on their classes and I am officially (if officially means giving the lady behind the counter my name and number) signed up for a beginner’s class in which I will be knitting a sweater (A SWEATER?!!?).

i just spent the last half hour writing a post…and then accidentally hit the close button for NO REASON at all….

CPH says it’s zen..if you think about it.

WTF, CPH?

so, i’ll just say this.

i love walks in the rain.

and milk crates.

and the magnetic fields.

wow, that was so much easier and faster.

i have added some new sites to the daily reads page. Go on, have a looksy.

Thanks to LJC for showing us that the US is finally catching up to the east.

Man, even Madonna and Guy are taking powernaps.

I used to roll my eyes when my friends would talk, in particular, about two bands.
Many of them really got into (some, more than others) Starflyer 59. I wasn’t that crazy about them. They played a lot of music without words that I could sing along to. And I liked songs that I could sing along to.
I was never a fan of My Bloody Valentine, either. I complained to CPH one time about how I couldn’t understand any of the words they were saying. He suggested that a great thing about the band was that you couldn’t hear the singer above any other instrument; that the voice was just one of the many instruments in the band. Puh-leeeeease, I would say.
But, maybe I’ve changed. Maybe, I’m beginning to appreciate more than just a catchy tune.
I just found myself thoroughly enjoying a long intro by Ambulance from their new LP and I can’t help but think, maybe, I’m growing up, just a little.

i want this.

CPH ordered me some sweet headphones for work, since I left mine in Boston.
So, in the interim, I bought a really, really (did I say really?) cheap pair from the CVS down the street from my office. All week long, I’ve been pulling out my hair because of the static that continually tickles my left eardrum. Did I mention that I mean…I’ve literally been pulling out my hair? It seems the only way to stop the static (and it only stops until I, once again, move my head) is to pull on the cord below the earpiece. And sometimes, in frustration, I tug a bit too hard…and pull out a piece of hair…OUCH!
Just a few seconds ago, I was pulling on the cord and I pulled just a little too hard. No hair came along for the ride this time, but the cord completely tore in two.
So, now I sit here with my headphones on, sanely listening to one sided radio.
Mr. Postman, won’t you bring me my new headphones soon?

So, if you’re in the NYC area and you want to see a great show…Joseph Arthur is doing a benefit tomorrow night for Kerry.

mmm, wish I was in NYC….

Here’s what has caught my ear since Friday:
Scissor Sisters, “Better luck” from Self-Titled
The Thrills, “Not for all the love in the world” from Let’s Bottle Bohemia
Cornershop, “Sleep on the left side” from When I was born for the 7th time
Snow Patrol, “How to be dead” from Final Straw

juxtaposition

n : positioning close together (or side by side)

Yesterday, while listening to Elliot Smith, I started an email to CPH. I told him about how listening to E* made me sad. I told him that it wasn’t the same as listening to Gene Eugene, but it was a different kind of sad. I told him about how I felt like complete sh* because I couldn’t remember the name of one of our profs, who had committed suicide, just a few years back. What I didn’t tell him was that I wondered if he (Dr. B* – CPH reminded me of his name) could look from the beyond and maybe think that his suicide was justified if no one could remember his name anyway.
At nearly the same exact time, CPH was standing on the side of the road with our friend M* who had just gotten out of, what could have possibly been, a deadly car accident. As they stood there, M* was telling CPH about how another friend’s little brother was killed in a car accident the night before.

juxtaposition

n : positioning close together (or side by side)

Here are pics from my boston trip. Yes, I know. I am absolutely fascinated with feet.

I find it interesting that, on those days when I’m down in the proverbial dumps, the blue sky on popstrang is annoyingly bright to me. Makes me wonder if there are studies out there that say depression and certain colors do not a happy girl make….

just because i promised my mom I would document those times when I find it hard to focus and feel unreasonably sad…

now is one of those times.

i want to crawl under my desk and hide. i want to go into a room, close the door, put on some sad bastard music, and simply lie there.

CPH just sent me a link for some photos of Lucy, Peter, Susan, and Edmund. Peter and Susan are dead on. I guess Edmund is alright. But, I always imagined Lucy as skinner and a bit taller with blond hair in a pony-tail.

this is what I wrote on my blog, nearly three years, to the day, ago…

Tuesday, July 10, 2001
Christians amaze me. really.

Christians that aren’t afraid to show that they are christians amaze me. i think that’s the way i used to be, not that i’m afraid now, but i never have the initiative. my brother in laws girlfriend is really cool. She listens to third day and had this shirt on this weekend that said body piercing saved my life. i wish i could wear a shirt like that and not feel stupid. not stupid becasue i would be made fun of , but stupid because i’m afraid i would make fun of myself, DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL?

....
funny how i’m in the same exact place, but she is not.
....

just for reference, here is what CPH was saying around the same time.

i just can’t seem to get over this.

...imitates the motions of a living negro, affording infinite amusement to both old and young…..

really makes you think about the bobbing hula girl on your dashboard, eh?

First, let me say that I have gone plenty of places without CPH. I’ve gone plenty of places and missed him, but I was still able to thouroughly enjoy my time without him. This time was different. This time, I missed him so much I couldn’t wait to come home.

A* and D* picked us up from the airport. They had to circle the lot a few times since we were stuck on the runway for about an hour due to a broken gate. Those two really amaze me. Two of the most christ-like people I know.

So, they pick us up and we head to someone’s parent’s house for a barbeque. It’s a laid back event. Smirnoff Ice’s in the cooler, so I’m a happy barbequer. We play some volleyball, bruise our wrists, go the beach, walk along the pier, have some cloves, eat some red meat, play some badmitton, go back to the beach, sit and watch the sunset, have some more cloves. Enjoyable night. Side note to the evening (and something that I was going to post about earlier, but my site was down). We were sitting at the beach and there was a girl nursing her baby. Someone asked her point blank if she had dealt with Post Partum Depression after said baby was born. She shook her head and said (something to the effect of), “you know I’ve heard about that, but I can honestly say that I think I had Post Partum Joy”. lots of oohs and aahs from the crowd. Someone says (something to the effect of), “what a testimony” and then someone says (something to the effect of), “that’s just a huge blow to the enemy”. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Then later that night, I wanted to roll my eyes at myself. I wish I was less critical (skeptical) of outspoken christians.

E* had gone to A* with his parents for the day. He showed up at the T*’s around10:30 or so (actually right as we were arriving from the beach). It was super fantastic to see him (even with his scary beard). We hung out for a bit, then D* drove us back to E*’s house for the night.

Went to church the next morning at the (one of the (?) ) vineyard churces in town. Sermon first, then worship…which I thought was bit interesting. I could feel intimidation knocking when the announcement for worship was given and the back corner of the church (where we were already sitting) filled with people who, no doubt, were about to get their groove on for Jesus. I can’t help but feel so inadequate at churches where dancing and clapping is the norm. Couldn’t follow the sermon at all, which is the norm, at least for me.

We arrived at the river (or close to it) around 4 pm to find good seats for the fireworks (that wouldn’t be happening for another 6 or so hours). We found some nice lawn to lay down on and we rested until the show. We saw the fireworks through the trees, which I think I liked a lot better than seeing them in the open air. My favorite part about the fireworks show were the ghost fireworks that lingered in the air after all the pretty colors went away.

The next morning, it was raining. A lot. We didn’t even make it out of the house till around noon. Me, sister-in-law, E* and his dad took the T to the chowderfest, but had to part ways once we got there for sister-in-law is deathly afraid of things that swim in the sea (or river) (or creek). She and I ate chinese instead. We then walked around in the rain. Stopped in Harvard Square to get some beads at a great store and made it home minutes before we were due.

E*’s mom made dinner for us monday night. Crawfish Etoufee, which was better than what I remembered at the wedding rehersal 5 or so years ago. After the adults were taken back to their hotel, the kids went out for drinks at a local bar. It was a nice little bar with reasonably priced drinks. Funny story: A* and I, at nearly the same time, said to each other:
Her: I can’t believe how quiet it is in here tonight.
Me: Wow, it’s loud in here, huh?
At that point, I was glad to live in the midwest with outside seats at small bars.
The sounds at the bar included nice, recognizable music. The DJ was from a local band that E* had introduced me to a few months ago. He came out while we were having cloves (no smoking anywhere inside in Boston). He was a nice fellow.

Some of us made plans to stay up all night. Only two of us made it past 1 am. D* and I took E* and sister-in-law back to E*’s house and came back to make a list of fun things to do to stay awake. The list included: Apple Bob (which was quickly changed to cherry tomato bob, since no apples were in sight, and just as quickly disregarded as a fun thing to do because tomatoes are from the devil – and devilish things were not allowed on this particular list), Eat Cereal, Go the Bathroom, Create a found arts sculpture, Make a Fort, Create a comic book, Prank call CPH.

We decided on making a fort and set to work. 30 minutes later we were laying inside one beautiful fort and popping in SafeMen for, what would be, a long awaited first viewing for me. I sadly, fell asleep half way through, and still am unsure if SafeMen really is one of the best movies of our college years.

I think I fell asleep, officially, around 4 am and was awake again around 9 or so. We left for the Boston Harbor Islands around Noon (i think). The ferry to the islands cost a mere 10 dollars and was well worth the 10 dollars. There’s like 10 islands that you can visit from the main one, but we were so late in arriving that we didn’t get to see any of the other islands. So we pretty much ate lunch on the main island, toured a civil war prison, and then got back on the ferry for the ride home. I slept most of the way back. Again, with the sleeping. Side note: these islands looked rather fascinating and I plan on visiting them again once I return. Hopefully, I can talk CPH and E* into camping on one of the islands.

As soon as we got back to E*’s house, I fell asleep once more and took a long nice nap. I probably could have kept sleeping, but I figured that sister-in-law was probably getting hungry, so I rustled out of E*’s wonderfully comfortable bed with his wonderfully decorated pillows (which, to this day, are my favorite pillow cases) and we walked to have dinner. Had a calzone that might have rivaled the calzone of my favorite pizza dive in C*, if I had ever weaned myself off of their pizza long enough to try their calzones.

K* had expressed some interest in hanging out on Tuesday night. I have to admit that I was actually relieved to hear that she cancelled. I think that going to see her might have included more walking and talking and I didn’t have much energy to do either of those things. Instead, me and E*, D* and A* went to this old school 24 hour diner that had amazing banana french toast and amazingly horrible coffee.

Headed home the next day and after being stuck in a few airports longer than I had planned, am now sitting at my desk at work trying to remember step by step my last few days.

Didn’t get to see ChinaTown, which is a bit dissapointing, but I’m afraid it would have been more dissapointing to have visited it without CPH. Did get nearly three quarters of the way through Brother’s K, which is turning out to be a very enjoyable book. I will tackle the River Why next so that the C*’s can have debates as to why I should like their favorite book better.

It’s good to be back in the midwest. It was ashamedly good to get in my car and drive from the airport back home.

Tonight we’re going to see Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, which makes me smile and chuckle all at the same time.

i’m liking this t-alot.

I had two dreams last night that I can still vividly remember:
1. CPH and I were sitting on a couch (not our current couch – maybe our future couch) and the phone rang. It was J* calling to see how the moving went. She started talking about a trip she was taking (out of the country) and she said (something to the effect of), “the G* Money is paying for the trip”. I asked what she meant by the G* money and she said (something to the effect of), “Oh man, I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”. The line was silent for a good few minutes but she finally told me that our boss had been paying her extra for all the hard work she had been putting into some reviews before they went to the G* Group. She said the first time she got paid was on Mother’s Day and our boss gave her a card with (I think it was) 40 bucks in it and the card just said thanks. I remember being very angry (jealous) and silent.
2. I was taking a shower and vegetables started popping up through the drain. It was disgusting. Somehow, I knew that these vegetables were what the old tenants had dropped down the kitchen sink and for some reason, they were regurgitating back into the bathtub.

Wouldn’t it be fun if I remembered my dreams every morning in this new house? Like the new place was a home to special dream ghosts?