This site makes me happy, but I’m not sure why.

Friday night, John and I headed to the southside to eat dinner and catch a movie with some friends. The pizza was yummy, but the movie made me sleepy. I agreed to the viewing, only because the coen brothers also wrote and directed a favorite of mine. I was ultimately dissapointed. But really, why should I expect any less? We all make mistakes in our chosen (or not chosen, but accepted) professions. We should have no higher expectation for a writer than the guy at McDonald’s who usually gets our order perfect, but must have been having a bad day the other day because I know that I asked for pickles and no cheese on my McFilet….!....
I jumped out of bed on Saturday at a late and glorious 9 am. I got dressed, stopped by my favorite thrift store and then headed to Cincinnati for a visit with my sister-in-law (her husband is my husband’s brother). We spent the day shopping and eating and eating and eating and EATING. I found no clothes at the mall (no big surprise, it’s such a struggle to make myself spend more than 10 dollars on any piece of clothing) but I did find some yummy goodies at a local grocery store. I got a big bag of curry, some green peppers, green beans, thai iced tea mix, some belgium chocolate, and a turkish delight for my cutie-pie husband.
I spent the night and came home around 2 or so. Last night, I spent about 1 1/2 hours in the grocery shopping for this week’s meals. Lots of fresh vegetables. We’ll see if they all get used or die a horrible and stinky death in my refrigerator.

My friend, Heather, and I have been IM’ing a lot lately talking about all the people we miss from college. We want to take a trip to see if we can dig up bones or find ghosts in the shed or whatever silly phrase best suits this pondering we feel deep in our souls. I can’t help but feel like Rob (high fidelity) as he delved into his past to remember his top five biggest heartbreaks and later went searching for those same people. The Top Five People I want to see from my past (EKU BSU past, that is) are :
1. Mark Kennedy – Mark and I dated for only a few weeks, but he was the only guy for whom I ended another relationship to be with.
2. Mark Kiel – Mark and I participated in a small stint of makeout sessions at his apartment above a church. Truth be told, I was fascinated by his actor-roommate and hung around mostly to catch conversations with him.
3. Troy Sparks – Troy and I never dated. He was a great friend. He was totally ahead of the time in regards to ideas about community (he led small groups way before small groups were fad-ish).
4. Julie Runyon – Julie just made me laugh. I think Julie made me laugh more than anyone (even Adam Brody’s character on the OC, who is pretty darn funny). Best Julie quote ever. We’re driving past a town in E. Ky. Julie points up to a hill and says, “That’s where my grandma lives”. Someone says, “Where? In the cemetary up there?”. Julie screams, (with the best E. Ky accent), “DON’T YOU PUT MY GRANDMA IN A GRAVE”.
5. Rich Trexler – Rick was my first mentor. I appreciated our weekly meetings probably more than he or I will ever realize. I hear he’s in North Carolina now.

So there’s my top five.

DO YOU SEE YOUR NAME ON THAT LIST, MR. PINK????

It was my senior year that I first remember feeling that I was being manipulated by a higher being and I was very angry about it. I had a friend in middle school who was later diagnosed with leukemia. He transferred schools while in middle school and I never heard from him again. I did hear at the end of our middle school years or early high school years that Brian had passed away. Fast-forward to senior year. My friends and I had just gotten out of the showers after a fitness class and were busily applying the necessary makeup and hairspray to make it through to the end of the day. The teacher comes in and asks every one to sit down. She turns the television on and a home movie of Brian appears on the screen. It’s one of those video montages that had just become popular in the early 90s. Lovely music in the background, happy faces on the video of Brian and his friends, of Brian and his family. At the end of the movie is a question that burns on the screen. Will you donate to help others like Brian?
I’m sorry, did you just go inside my young heart and rip it into pieces by bringing these memories back, JUST so you could garner a high-schooler’s donation for cancer research?

A friend of John’s from High School called last night. She has been in touch with some of the class officers and there is a reunion being planned. Hoorah!
Today, I will start, the memoirs of the Class of ‘94.
The first memory that comes to mind is the only day that I skipped school. Some of the seniors had been asked to participate in a survey of sorts. After the survey was over, my friend Mel asked me if I wanted to run some errands with her. We left school around 2 pm and we DIDN’T COME BACK!

i have been mean to this. I want to kiss and make up. Any ideas what would work?

Inspired, most currently, by Erica, I have decided to make a list of 28 things to do in my 28th year.
1.Wrap presents in brown paper
2.Conceive
3.Donate/Sell on Ebay those work clothes that I don’t wear in any two week period
4.Donate/Sell on Ebay those shoes that I don?t wear in any two week period.
5.Buy at least fivethree one new cd/albums (Amy Blaschke’s Self Titled and Sufjan Stevens’ Seven Swans bought the week of 3/23/04) (Edith Frost’s Wonder Wonder and The Unicorns’ Who will cut our hair when we’re gone? bought the week of 6/7/04).
6.Write letters instead of emails
7.Visit three states other than Kentucky, Tennessee and Florida
8.Go to Tennessee for a long weekend
9.Convince my sister to come visit me for a weekend
10.Knit something other than a scarf
11.Learn to quilt
12.Go see a play
13.Buy lunch for a stranger
14.Eat vegetables
15.Call my friends
16.Get a promotion
17.Clean the house on a regular basis
18.Plant wildflowers
19.Read Cider House Rules
20.Sell one of my paint-ings
21.Paint a piece of furniture
22.See my brother and sister in law
23.Compliment my brother in law
24.Learn French
25.Go to Johnson Shut-ins
26.Eat lunch outside
27.Get to know my neighbors
28.Have a garage/yard sale. Does it count if you sell things at a yard sale, but you weren’t present at the yard sale? I was on my way to see T* with H*, which was a really, really good excuse.

This week went by too fast and I can not believe it is already friday. I imagine my weekend will go like this:
Friday Night: John and I are planning on painting the town red. First, we are going to see this and then hopefully heading to this.
Saturday, I plan on waking up at a not so reasonable time and then I must go visit the scary place we like to call the BMV. This is a place that I have, effectively, managed to avoid since 1993. But, buying a car that will solely be in my name, requires me to visit a place that I have not visited since my junior year in high school (not counting, of course, the times that I traveled upwards of 3 hours only to renew my license in my hometown). I also plan on finishing this.
I have no idea what Sunday brings and I am very opposed to planning it.

Here are pictures of the wonderful week.

I don’t think I ever knew the true meaning of this word. I do know that I never associated this feeling with symptoms of anxiety. I find this most interesting.

The weekend went much as predicted. Friday night, we went to the in-laws for vegetarian chili. The planned meal, at the time, seemed out of season b/c the beginning of the weekend was promising sunshine and warm (only need a light jacket or sweater) weather. Now, I see snow on the ground.
Saturday, John headed down south for a visit with an old friend and Eric and I went for a visit to the Unique Thrift Store. We found nothing unique or thrifty, so we came home (almost) empty-handed. We did stop to get some cloves (WHAT?) on our way home from the thrift store. As soon as we got home, we headed out back for a pre-birthday clove and decided that the beautiful weather demanded a blanket on the ground and some lying in the sun! It was a wonderful time of cloves, talking, resting, and squinting our eyes from the unusual brightness beaming from the sky. We watched Roger & Me (thanks, Husband, for the wonderful Christmas Present). I can’t really critique the movie, since I fell asleep near the end, but I think Eric thought it was funny, since I was awakened a few times by his laughter.
Sunday, we went to Church instead of a donut shop (Bad choice). The in-laws came over Sunday night to give me presents. Yay. I got a spice caddy and this really nifty pasta pot that lets you cook your noodles and your sauce in the same pan. They also gave me a Target Giftcard. Oh, and I had a few more pre-birthday cloves.
Monday morning I woke up and got gifts in bed (NO, not those kind of gifts, gutterhead). John got me many small gifts, like a mini-planner and some inkpens with tasty lipgloss on the end. He also got me Cranium Cosmo, which has already led to (in this day alone) many moments of unproductive office fun! I also acquired two new stainless steel pots; one huge one, with a steamer insert and one small sauce pan. Oh, and a shiny new tea pot. . . so, so pretty.
Phew. Got out of bed, took a shower and made yummy, yummy crumb cake for breakfast. I got my choice of coffee (it IS my birthday, after all). I chose French-pressed Vanilla Nut (straight from Costa Rica). After breakfast, I got to open presents from Eric. He had let me open one of the presents the night before (CHEWY SPREES). I also got a box of Milkduds. Now, I admit that milkduds may not sound like a GREAT birthday present, and if you are thinking that, I respect you, but I freakin’ LOVE milkduds. Also, from Eric were a set of blue Japanese tea cups.
John had an appointment with one of his professors at 2pm. Eric and I tagged along. We sat in the lobby and I knitted and Eric read while John was meeting. Then, we went into John’s office and I knitted and Eric read while John was fixing. Then, John had to ask his professor about something else, so we waited and I knitted and Eric. . . Well, you get the picture. We headed out about 3:30 on a north-bound road trip and ended up in Kokomo, IN where I got to eat at Cracker Barrel. The trip was fun. It reminded me of the Sunday drives that seemed so popular with the grandparents of my peeps.
I wanted to go to bed around 11 on Monday, but stayed up to be with John and Eric because I was told “you just can’t go to bed when you only have 1 hour of your birthday left”. Luckily, the boys took off for Kinko’s around quarter till, so I made Eric’s bed for him and drifted off into birthday dreamland. And now, I’ll wonder forever, what could have happened in the remaining 10 minutes of my birthday day.

I’ve really got nothing to say, but I have made a promise to my future self that I would try to update by blog daily. The week has finally come to an end and I am making plans for a 4 day weekend (taking Monday off for my Birthday). Tonight, I plan to go to Michaels to pick out some yarn to start my second (all on my own) knitting project, which is, for all intents and purposes, my first (since I’ve known what I was doing) knitting project.
Tomorrow, I suspect that I will be husbandless, as John goes to the fun little town of Corydon. He’s going to meet up with an old high school buddy and I will be given the task of holding down the fort while he is away.
Sunday, I presume, will be a day of eating donuts or going to church, which for a year of our lives, really did mean the same exact thing.
We will see what happens on Monday (my birthday). I have requested that I do none of the planning and that John proves how much he loves me by organizing a wonderful day that I will remember for the rest of my life.
Eric’s here for the week, so hopefully this weekend will consist of lots of hours of John and I simply spending quality time with our little Eric. I imagine loads of quiet time, with john on the computer, me on the couch watching whatever the TiVo has deemed recordable and Eric on the floor reading a book. Oh, how I miss those times.
On another note, I’m very saddened by the non-prospect of going to my 10 year high school reunion. I graduated 10 years ago this May and NO ONE could care less.

For so many years, I (as well as the rest of the female population) have been told that we are born with all the eggs we are ever going to have. We were told that once they’re gone, they’re gone, with no hope of ever returning again. Now, we’re being told that something else may be the truth. Science just turns my world upside down.

Our very good friend is coming to visit tomorrow and I have this theory that, because I am looking forward to his visit it is taking FREAKIN’ forever for the week to come to an end. Will Tomorrow ever come???

Okay. I admit it. I love Indianapolis in the springtime. It’s about 65 degrees outside and the wind must be blowing about 30 miles an hour. John met me downtown for lunch. We went to Enzos, a fun little restaurant run by people who like to talk really fast, for pizza. We got the pizza to go and ate on the circle. We ate and fed breadsticks to the birds and chased many a plastic lids as they blew away with the ferocious wind.

This is one of those days that it is difficult to leave work because I am in the middle of something. If I’m not careful, I’m going to be thinking about it all night long. I remember, during grad school, when a slew of friends and I went to a concert in Knoxville. Our friend, Half-Handed Cloud was playing. I was in such a bad mood that night (and believe me it is nearly impossible to be in poor spirits when listening to john) and it was all because I had a paper due the next day and I was in Knoxville listening to beautiful music till the wee hours of the morning. I felt so bad after that night because I was so bitchy.
I think I’ll go home and listen to HHC while I fall asleep on the couch and have horrible dreams about budgets and rent comp studies shooting me down in a dark and stinky alley.

My friend sent me an email this week and she sounds sad. I’m not used to seeing or reading about her sadness. It’s either that I’m just not around her when she’s sad or she has this super-ability to hide her true feelings. She was (and possibly/probably still is) quite an icon at our school. Not many people at school truly knew her (I think I still fit in this category). I remember sitting at a friends house (or he was at mine) and he and another were talking about my friend and how they didn’t want to get to know her. She’s so perfect in our eyes, they would say. What if we really got to know her and we didn’t like her? I remember laughing at them, thinking that if they would only allow themselves to get to know her, there would be no way that they would not like her. They shook their heads. We’ll keep what we have of her, they said.
It makes me sad, now, thinking about her.

We had dinner and watched a movie at some friends house last night and as I pulled off a mountain of vegetables off my vegetarian pizza, I realized that if I was to become pregnant, I would have to learn to eat more healthy foods. We’re members now of a new cooperative garden and I’m excited about the possiblity of cooking with fresh vegetables (as excited as any person who only cooks vegetarian meals at home should be). I need to fashion myself into a person who enjoys cooking. That is my goal for this week (i have very low expectations and strive for no LONG term goals).